Too many students write essays with incredibly weak thesis statements. It seems like students learn one technique in their junior high years that sticks with them. It is imperative that every student never ever writes another thesis statement that includes these words: “In my essay, I will…” This thesis statement beginning is truly the death of any essay and should be avoided at all costs.
We now turn to examples of five kinds of weak thesis statements--actualexcerpts from student papers-and show how they can be reworded in waysthat will lead to analysis.
Here are some examples of weak thesis statements and how to fix them.
This is a weak thesis statement because the reader can’t decide whether the paper is about marketing on the Internet or Web pages. To revise the thesis, the relationship between the two ideas needs to become more clear. One way to revise the thesis would be to write: